“This isn’t an easy request to make.
I have given it some serious thought and wondered if you would like my children?
You see, when we decided to take the plunge and get pregnant, we didn’t realize that they were going to need so much time and money. Now they’ve been around a while, it’s been quite a few years now, we have totted up all of the costs and come to the realization that it’s been an awful lot of expense and that it’s not all been a bed of roses really…
We just thought that you when you had a baby, you cuddled him a lot, he was always going to be grateful for you being a nice person that cared about him, and then he grew up without needing much other than food and a roof over his head and hugs and stuff, you know what I mean, like they do in the movies.
Discovering that each of our kids needed to be constantly educated, needed money, needed guidance and discipline that’s loving and fair when sometimes we were seething inside, well…..it’s been a bit of a shock.
Sometimes they get a bit moody, especially if we don’t spend any time with them, and they’re both very rude when we have guests over if I don’t have time to do stuff with them that day, ya know, like take them to the park to play or to do play dates at their friends houses and stuff and thats just really annoying. Oh and one of them is always getting sick…I lose count of the times he’s had to go to the doctors. It’s really expensive, you know, medical bills. We wanted to buy a new car this year, but now we can’t because of the co-pays, it’s crippling us. We may not even be able to take a second vacation or decorate.
We are very sociable people, though, we love our friends to come over and have dinner and drinks with us, and we don’t like it that the kids won’t just sit there on the couch quietly and watch TV all night and let us have some fun. It’s only a couple of nights a week after all…so anyway, we sat and talked about it and realized that life was just a lot easier before we had them, they don’t really fit into our lives anymore.
We want to move to a smaller house so we don’t have as many overheads, and there probably wouldn’t be room for them. We also didn’t want to have to have a yard to mow anymore, and you know, my kids, they just love their swing set, so our house wouldn’t fit their needs anymore.
Of course, we have made mistakes as parents, and in some ways we have even joked that we have kind of messed our kids up by being the kind of parents we are. We weren’t ever any good at discipline or consistency, that kind of thing. We’re kind of busy people, always got a lot of stuff going on, who has that kind of time to put into their kids?
Oh, but I just know you’d love my kids, because you’re a really good mother with your own kids, and you have lots of time for them so….would you consider adopting them? Oh and by the way, I do REALLY love my kids, they mean the world to me. It’s just, well, you know, like I said, they don’t fit the lifestyle we want anymore.”
Hideous isn’t it? You want to call DEFACS so badly don’t you? What kind of a person would be so self absorbed?
Who would even think about asking that of anyone?
Turns out, three people this month already. Only…they weren’t talking about their human kids, they were talking about their four legged children. Dogs that had been valuable and loving members of their family for years, who had grown with their human children, been a shoulder to cry on during ill health and bad times. No longer valuable because they have gotten older and maybe occasionally poop in the house, or gotten grouchy when there’s a mass of visitors in the home and they just want to be left alone…so much easier to just dump them eh? Instead of working around the dogs changing needs?
To all of the DD family who understand the true nature of the terms ‘love’, ‘family’ and ‘commitment’, I salute you. To those who don’t, I’d like to share a word or two from the Big Guy…
“Love is patient, love is kind……..it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (First Corinthians 13; v.4 &7)
Being a good and loving parent isn’t just about the good times, it’s a forever position, no matter how many legs your kids have.